![]() Rimmer: You can't just whack Death on the head! Lister: If he comes near me, I'm gonna rip his nipples off! Rimmer: Lister, what's that for? Lister: I'm going out as I came in, screaming and kicking. Rimmer: Morning, Lister! How's life in hippie heaven, you pregnant, baboon-bellied, space beatnik? What's the plan for the day, then? Slobbing in the morning, followed by slobbing in the afternoon, then a bit of a snooze before the main evening's slob? God, you're a disgrace to the species. Even with an IQ of 6000, it's still brown trousers time. Holly: Look, I'm trying to navigate at faster than the speed of light, which means that before you see something, you've already passed through it. Future Echoes Holly: I am Holly, the ship's computer, with an IQ of 6000 the same IQ as 6000 PE teachers. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead? Holly: Wish I never let him out in the first place. Everybody's dead, Dave! Lister: Rimmer? Holly: He's dead, Dave. Lister: Petersen isn't, is he? Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave! Lister: Not Chen! Holly: Gordon Bennett! Yes, Chen. Lister: What, Selby? Holly: They're all dead. Lister: What, Todhunter? Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave. Lister: What, Captain Hollister? Holly: Everybody's dead, Dave. Lister: Where is everybody, Hol'? Holly: They're dead, Dave. Lister: You wanted to see me, Captain? Captain Hollister: Where's the cat? Lister: What? What cat? Captain Hollister: Lister, not only are you so stupid you jeopardise every man and woman on this ship, not only that, you take a photo of yourself with the cat and send it to be processed in the ship's lab. Holly tells me he's sensed a non-human life form on-board. You are a smeghead!Ĭaptain Hollister: Just one more thing before we start the disco. I try and respect Rimmer and everything, but it's not easy, 'cos he's such a smeghead! Rimmer: Did you hear that, sir? Lister, do you have any conception of the penalty for describing a superior technician as a smeghead? Todhunter: Oh, Rimmer. Why can't you two get on? Lister: You see, I try, sir. Todhunter: There are 169 people on this ship. Todhunter: Finished? Rimmer: However, I am not a vindictive man, so I don't intend to apply for the death penalty. Rimmer: Had there been a crisis situation, Lister, I would have had to perform my duties hopping, clearly putting the ship at risk, clearly therefore mutiny. Lister: But the vital duty was that he was going to snap my guitar in half! Rimmer: Whereupon you leapt from the top bunk onto the whole of my right foot. Lister: It was an accident! Rimmer: Lister, I put it to you, how is it possible to stand on one small toe by accident? You didn't stand on my toe at all, you stood on my entire foot, thereby obstructing a superior technician in pursuit of vital duty. Rimmer: Maliciously, and with intent to wound. Todhunter: Mutiny, Lister? Lister: I stood on his toe. Rimmer: Is that a cigarette you're smoking, Lister? Lister: No. ![]() radical, too unconventional, too mold-breaking for the examiners to accept. Petersen told me." Lister, if you must know, I submitted a discourse on porous circuitry that was too. Lister: You what? You walked in there, wrote "I am a fish" four hundred times, did a funny little dance, and fainted! Rimmer: That's a total lie. Rimmer: Last time I only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins. Rimmer: Lister? Lister: Hmm? Rimmer: Have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet? No? Shut up and push the trolley. #WORMS WORLD PARTY WORMS 2D WIKI SERIES#Red Dwarf: Series I (1988) The End Lister: To Ganymede and Titan, yes sir, I've been around. #WORMS WORLD PARTY WORMS 2D WIKI DRIVERS#14.1 Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers (1989).Unless otherwise noted, these quotes are from show creators Rob Grant and/or Doug Naylor. Kristine Kochanski, a version of Lister's former girlfriend from a parallel universe played by Chloë Annett. ![]()
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